What did we do last night that was yellow?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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