shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
