You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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