Her vagina should come with caution tape.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
