Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Randomize
