u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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