I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
