Having a random hookup so left but love u
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize