yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
