How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
