she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
