Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
