two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just want to make out with him forever
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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