I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize