I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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