She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
We have so much sex to catch up on
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
