It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
PANTIES FOUND
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