how hairy? two words: wookie tits
love makes seman taste better
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
