Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
