I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
True strength comes from lack of pants
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize