his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize