She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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