What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
