So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize