I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
