dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
