i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize