My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
