you're like a bully in the Christmas story
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
