Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm both gender and math confused
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
