What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
