It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
