If i come over, it means nothing
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
