wat bout pragnant strippers??
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
