i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
