They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Randomize
