It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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