You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You smell like stripper and shame
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
