There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
