she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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