i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
