By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize
