There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
