what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
