just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
