just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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