I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
