i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
What did we do last night that was yellow?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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