i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize