I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
