dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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