I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
