3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Congratulations! We have a period
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
