I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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