the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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