Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
