Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
