How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
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