guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
