Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
ok first of all what the fuck
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
