We won't sleep together?
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
