I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
