Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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