i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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