and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
